Caroline was close to breaking point after she split from her abusive partner. With a demanding newborn baby and three older children from a previous relationship to care for, life became a daily struggle. That's when families charity Home-Start came to the rescue. Here, Caroline (not her real name) tells OONAGH ROBINSON her story.

When I first got chatting to John during a night out in the pub with friends, it felt really good.

I'd known him from years before and as I had split up with my husband a few months earlier, it seemed natural that we would become closer.

I had kids of ten, 15 and 17 and he had children from his previous marriage, but we managed to meet regularly. He promised me the world.

From quite early on in our relationship, John was very keen to have a baby with me, but I was never sure. My youngest daughter was ten and I hadn't really thought about it, but he persuaded me.

While we were trying for the baby, he was always asking me: "Why aren't you pregnant yet?"

He was quite full on, so when I finally told him I was expecting, I was surprised to get just a brief, "Oh." It was strange.

To be honest, our relationship all went downhill from that day.

He started to push me around a lot, even though I was pregnant. And he kept telling me to have an amniocentesis to check the baby.

He was being so negative all the time, saying we wouldn't cope. I knew then I would end up doing this on my own.

John made it to the hospital for the birth of my new baby girl, but while I was in the ward recovering, I was finding it very difficult.

He didn't help by telling my other children: "Don't touch that baby or I'll kill you."

Things came to a head when I brought the baby home and he was never around. One day I had a go at him about it and he started smashing things up and pushing me violently.

I was so frightened I ended up ringing the midwife to come round.

And because of that I ended up in front of a social services panel to ensure the baby wasn't in danger.

I was so upset, I didn't know what was going on and I knew I had done nothing wrong. I had to convince John to stay away for good.

So then I was on my own. The older children did their best to help, but it's not the same as having a partner to support you.

The baby never gave me a moment's peace – screaming all the time. I don't think I had a proper sleep for six weeks.

I went to the doctor because I was sure there was something wrong with her. But all he did was put me in touch with a psychiatrist.

I knew I didn't need that though. I just needed some sleep and support. I'm an intelligent person and I'd brought three other children up, I know about postnatal depression and I was sure it wasn't that.

I was close to cracking up, I do admit it. But it was just frustration at not being able to comfort the baby and anger at John for leaving me in that position.

The baby finally ended up in hospital, where it was discovered she had a problem with reflux and had not been feeding properly. I was so relieved for her after all those weeks of screaming and crying.

But I was still completely exhausted. I had no energy and it must have been awful for my kids seeing me like that.

I didn't have my own family for support either as John had made sure we moved far away from my home town. He'd completely isolated me.

It was only by chance one day that my health visitor mentioned Home-Start.

I had never heard of them and had no idea what they did.

Next thing I knew, a volunteer from the organisation turned up at my house offering her services. I can still remember the lovely sound of her voice saying: "How can I help?"

I think it was the first time in over six weeks anyone had actually asked about me and how I was.

From then on, I got weekly visits from my regular volunteer. She would come in and play with the baby so I could do simple things like have a quick shower or tidy up or have a sleep.

It sounds silly, but those little things were all I needed to help get me back on track.

Those weeks and weeks of constant sleep deprivation had taken their toll – they say it is a form of torture, don't they?

It was so lovely to be able to do my hair or have a cup of tea without having to think of the baby. And the little one loved my Home-Start volunteer too because she was getting lots of attention.

Those regular visits lasted over two years and there was a weekly drop in creche we used too. They saved my life – I'm sure I would have ended up on a psychiatric ward without them.

I went on to be a volunteer for Home-Start myself, doing a ten week course on how to offer support to families who are struggling. It's all about not being judgemental and helping people understand there is no stigma in asking for help.

After coming so close to breaking down, I know exactly the support these families need.

I was so proud this year when I was asked to do a speech about my experiences in front of 150 guests at a special fund-raising dinner.

I just wanted to tell people – look at me, I came through it.

My family and I are now very close. The "baby" will be ten in December and my other children are all grown up – I also have two lovely grandchildren.

My youngest recently wrote this little note and it made me smile:

"To the best mum in the world, I love you so, so, so, so, so, so much. You always give me everything I need. Love from your darling daughter."