JACQUI Thompson always knew her husband was a hero.

From his commitment to his family, to his passion for sport and his RAF career, he was never a man to do things by halves.

But it was only last week, when the events leading up to his death were laid bare in an inquest, that she realised the full extent of his bravery.

Senior Aircraftman Thompson, 51, was one of two men killed by a roadside bomb as they scanned a river crossing for explosive devices last April.

"For the first time I had an insight in to 'Gary the soldier' and it was incredibly powerful. It gave me an insight in to this incredible man," said the 43-year-old mother of five.

"As my husband I always had the utmost respect for him. He was always our hero but during the inquest I just found myself bursting with pride."

The inquest found that there had been a lack of metal detectors available to Gary and his colleagues – although it concluded that the bomb which killed him would have been unlikely to be found as it was made of plastic.

But Mrs Thompson is reluctant to be drawn into the politics.

"There was a lot of talk about the lack of resources but I didn't really think about that. I just thought how amazing it is that those lads do the job that they do. How they do it is beyond me," she said.

"When I met them and they recounted the events of that night, I sat there so full of admiration.

"Even though they may be lacking in resources they are so committed to that role. It left me in awe.

"It made me realise that Gary and Livy [SAC Graham Livingstone, who was also killed in the blast] were not the only casualties.

"It's not just the physical injuries – some injuries will heal and I don't know if others ever will.

"We are talking about quite young people who seem to be so mature for their years.

"They never look for any praise, they never look for a pat on the back, and if they get one they will shrug it off and say 'it's my job'. They are incredibly brave young men."

At first Jacqui had been unsure about attending the inquest but was eventually driven by the need to meet those who battled to save her husband that night.

"I was not really sure if I wanted to go because it wasn't going to change anything.

"But I knew that if Gary had come home after that night he would have been asking questions about the events – 'What if I had done this? Was I fast enough to do this? Should I have done that?'

"I thought it was important to go to tell them that I didn't blame them for anything and that they did all they could possibly do.

"I wanted to reassure them and wanted them to carry on living their lives.

"I thought if I could ease a bit of their pain and help them in any way then I should do that."

It is now 19 months since Gary's death and 2009 has been a year full of emotional milestones for Jacqui, of Sherwood, and her five daughters – Laurie, 25, Aimee, 23, Jordan, 21, Jade, 19, and Kelly, 18.

Not only have they celebrated Jordan's 21st and Kelly's 18th but eldest daughter Laurie got married on September 26.

"Laurie's wedding day was supposed to be one of the happiest times of her life," said Jacqui.

"We had a fantastic day but when the speeches came there were tears.

"She had a picture of her dad on her bouquet and we know he was there with us.

"Everyone was worrying about what the weather would be like but I knew it would be sunny. I knew Gary would show us he was there somehow.

"There will never be perfect days again but it was as close to it as it could be."

Christmas this year, like last, will be difficult, but Jacqui says the pain of Gary not being there is eased by having the rest of her family around her.

"The most difficult day for me was Gary's birthday last year," she said.

"At Christmas there's a house full of people, and on the girls' birthdays they are there to focus on.

"His birthday I found heartbreaking because he was not there.

"We always have a family dinner on Wednesdays and his birthday fell on that day, so we had dinner together then went to the pub, had a few drinks and watched the football. He would have been proud of us.

"Every big occasion now will have these bittersweet emotions but we help each other.

"On Laurie's wedding day we were all incredibly happy but there's a look there now that says 'we understand how you're feeling underneath this'.

"He is always going to be here, not just last year and this year."

It is this emphasis on their family that has helped Jacqui and the girls to remain strong.

"A very important focus for me was to make sure that the girls knew that they have a life to live and that their dad would want them to do that," she said.

"He would not want them slacking off, he would want them to work hard."

Kelly, who achieved outstanding results in her GCSEs just months after her dad's death, is now studying for her A-levels.

Aimee has completed a PGCE and is now a primary school teacher.

Jade works for a software company, Laurie is PA to a director of Marriott Hotels and Jordan has completed a degree and is hoping to move to New York to pursue a career in fashion.

Jacqui said: "As a family we are incredibly positive. Gary was an incredibly positive person. If there was anything negative that he could not change he would not dwell on it but if he could turn it around in some way he would.

"I know, and the girls know, that if we were down in the mouth and upset he would not be happy at all.

"We just have to carry on doing what we always do, with a smile on our faces, because he does not deserve any less than that."

Jacqui and the family have also been buoyed by support from friends and the local community.

"People have been amazing," she said.

"The night they first told me, they must have got here about 11.50pm and by 6am the house was completely full.

"When I started to come out of the shock I realised what a profound effect this has had on everybody who knew him.

"They were absolutely heartbroken and it was so genuine. You did not have to know him for long for him to have an impact."

When asked how she feels about withdrawing troops from Afghanistan, Jacqui finds it hard to answer.

"I am too emotionally involved in it all now," she said.

"Part of me would love those boys to come back home to spare any more devastation and hurt to their families but part of me thinks that if they came home now it would be for nothing."

With the death toll in the country mounting, watching the news proves too hard for Jacqui these days.

"I don't see them as just faces anymore – not that I ever really did. I used to look at them and compare them to my own girls.

"Now I still see it that way but I also see a family, I see a person who had dreams and ambitions. I've spoken to some families where women have lost their fiancés just before their weddings – they are dreams they are never going to have.

"I'm so blessed. I had my wedding day, I had my children and I had wedding anniversaries."

And she is keen to emphasis the importance of Remembrance Day.

"I can't begin to tell you how bad the thought that he could be forgotten makes me feel.

"I don't care if people don't know who Gary was but I'd like to think that in 100 years when we have all disappeared someone might see his name on a memorial and wonder what he did.

"As long as people remember soldiers, they will be remembering Gary. I would hate for any of them to be forgotten."

sarah.gillett@nottinghameveningpost.co.uk