All-Seeing Erik has the answers again
"ALL-Seeing Erik," people are constantly asking The All-Seeing Erik, "since you nailed everything that was going to happen last year, whaddya reckon's going to happen this year?"
And they're making a valid point. The All-Seeing Erik doesn't like to brag, but he called the whole Jake Bugg-hitting-number 1 thing. Successful Olympic Games? All-Seeing Erik saw that coming. Royal baby, Charlie Brooks winning I'm a Celebrity, Oscar for Best Score to Ludovic Bource – check, check and check for The All-Seeing Erik.
But what does 2013 hold? For that, the All-Seeing Erik has the answers. Follow him to... the future!
January 19. After the final performance of Nottingham Playhouse panto Robin Hood and the Babes in the Wood, panto don Kenneth Alan Taylor announces that this will definitely be his final panto. Paddy Power puts the odds at 3-1.
Business Cards From Only £10.95 Delivered www.myprint-247.co.ukView details
Our heavyweight cards have FREE UV silk coating, FREE next day delivery & VAT included. Choose from 1000's of pre-designed templates or upload your own artwork. Orders dispatched within 24hrs.
Terms: Visit our site for more products: Business Cards, Compliment Slips, Letterheads, Leaflets, Postcards, Posters & much more. All items are free next day delivery. www.myprint-247.co.uk
Contact: 01858 468192
Valid until: Friday, May 31 2013
January 23. Following new England and Wales Cricket Board guidelines, the county cricket season begins at Trent Bridge and across the country. Notts director of cricket Mick Newell builds on his reputation for shrewd signings as international early-season cover signing and Swedish cross-country ski champion Anders Södergren scores a resilient first-innings 108.
March 14. In an effort to take back control of Notts County Council in the May local elections, Labour announces they are going to go after the crucial Literally Appropriate Surname vote. The Tories and leader Kay Cutts will face previously unknown party leader Reggie Reasonable-Amounts-of-Spending-for-Society's-Neediest.
April 27. A dramatic 2-1 win over Coventry caps off a dramatic April surge and propels Notts County to the Coca-Cola Championship. Forest fans prepare to trade vague condescension for active contempt.
May 2. For contractual reasons, The All-Seeing Erik must tell you to purchase the May 3 Post for local election results.
July 10-14. Are you New Zealand/Are you New Zealand/Are you New Zealand in disguise? Are yooooooo New Zealand in disguise ...
August 15. Silly season! The All-Seeing Erik asks his German friend if he knows what a stitch in time saves. His German friend says no.
September 27. Forest fans, noticing that Derby fans have been acting a bit aloof and passive-aggressive since Forest fans started spending more time hating Notts County, ask if anything's the matter. Derby fans say it's fine and silently leave the room.
October 12. Forest play Notts in a league match for the first time since 1994. It's pretty sweet.
October 19. Look, Derby fans. We can tell you're upset. Just because we've got Notts now, doesn't mean we don't value our loathing for you just as much as we ever did. It's just that ... hey! HEY! Don't you walk away, this is important! ...
November 26. Tired of speculation on whether or not this will be the year he actually retires, Nottingham Playhouse panto don Kenneth Alan Taylor unveils the Kenneth 3000, a comically frocked cyborg programmed to speculate on what is or is not behind it.
The Playhouse is proud to reveal that the Kenneth 3000 is funded by an Arts Council grant, donations from the public and gifts from select corporate patrons.
December 15. Dear Derby fans, a letter like this is never easy to write ...