HOW would you feel if you received a wedding invitation from a close friend which warned in no uncertain terms: "Sorry, no children."

Would you jump for joy at the prospect of a whole day free from bothersome small people – or recoil in horror at the blanket exclusion of a whole section of society?

The trend for so-called child-free weddings has been growing for several years, according to Notts wedding planner Carmen Yuen-Stevenson.

"It can be purely down to costs," she says. "If a couple has a strict budget and one of the only ways to have their dream wedding day is to cut down numbers, couples may look at excluding children.

"This will save them on food costs and possibly entertainment for the children."

Carmen also says brides and grooms get concerned over bad behaviour during the long ceremony and speeches.

"They worry that the parents may feel uncomfortable if their child misbehaves during the vows," she explains.

"Many guests understand why couples opt for an adult-only wedding. However, this doesn't necessarily mean that all guests favour the idea.

"It may mean extra childcare costs. Some parents feel uneasy to be away from their children for a long period of time or they simply feel their children should be included."

Carmen, whose company Carmen Weddings organises nuptials throughout the East Midlands, often has to come up with a solution that will please everyone.

"For one wedding I coordinated, the bride and groom wanted their guests to have their children close by," she said. "So a reputable crèche company was hired from before the ceremony to late in the evening. The children were looked after, they were happy and the parents could enjoy themselves."

As for the royal couple, there will certainly be no ban on children at their big event at Westminster Abbey on April 29.

As well as her own sister Pippa, Kate Middleton has chosen four young bridesmaids. They are three-year-olds Eliza Lopes (granddaughter of the Duchess of Cornwall) and Grace Van Cutsem (Prince William's god daughter), seven-year-old Lady Louise Windsor (daughter of Prince Edward) and Margarita Armstrong-Jones, eight (daughter of Viscount Linley).

She will also have page boys Billy Lowther-Pinkerton, ten (his father Jamie is secretary to Prince William and Prince Harry) and eight-year-old Tom Pettifer (son of William's childhood nanny Tiggy).

So, would you organise or attend a child-free wedding?

We asked two local women from both sides of the debate for their views:

NO: Paula Wroath

MARRIED civil servant and mum of one Paula Wroath, of Lowdham, is

vehemently against the idea of excluding children from important life

events. She says:

Why have children become so disliked in our

society that we seek to exclude them from so many areas of our daily

life such as weddings, parties and outings?

It seems that some

people no longer smile at the sight of a small child playing or singing

or running around – instead scowling, tutting, thinking that they should

be elsewhere.

I think it is very sad that we expect children to somehow emerge into society knowing how to behave appropriately.

Without being around adults as they go about daily life, how are children to learn?

Adults

don't like to see groups of young people hanging around aimlessly, but

don't seem to want to include them in their lives either.

The

simple, enjoyable act of a child attending a wedding, religious or

civil, with its parents and extended family or friends, is very

educational. They can absorb information about our laws and

institutions, observe the beautiful surroundings of the church or

register office, and learn how to behave appropriately in the presence

of other adults – when to chat and mingle, when to be quiet and still.

And they'll likely be exhausted at the end of the day – another bonus.

Parents

have lost confidence in their ability to manage their children. They

are often allowed to run around in places where that isn't acceptable,

annoying others. Alternatively, they are kept a tight hold of in

places where they should be encouraged to run off steam, such as parks,

due to often unfounded safety fears or ridiculous restrictions on

activities.

I can't blame people for not wanting screaming brats

running around during a wedding service and spoiling things for

everyone. But unless we start including children in these aspects of our

lives, they will never learn, and the gulf between young and old will

grow ever wider, to the ultimate detriment of all.

YES: Claire Woolley

CLAIRE Woolley, a nurse from Ripley, had a child-free wedding last year. She says:

We had a reception which had a maximum capacity of 65 and so had to restrict our numbers.

I have quite a big family but my husband's is quite small. So the only children we invited were family – only about four.

We had previously been to child-free weddings and on the whole people were quite positive about them.

Parents

that were without children felt they could let their hair down and have

a drink without the worry of the children getting tired.

Our

invites read: "With the exception of family we have decided not to

invite children, we hope this will not cause offence and hope that you

will still join us to celebrate our special day."

Our main reason

for having no children was restriction on numbers for our meal. We did

state that people were welcome to bring children after the speeches and

the food as a compromise – although not many did this, probably because

of bedtimes.

We did have a few awkward moments. One of my

friends had a two-week old baby and was breast-feeding, so we let her

bring her baby and her mum looked after him while we had the meal.

Some

people were quite clearly miffed by the situation, but we were faced

with having to not invite close friends in place of kids, so it was a

difficult decision.

We had a fabulous day and everyone loved it.

However, I now have my own baby so can see things very differently.

I

would probably be upset if my daughter was not invited, but I would

maybe choose to take her to the day and have family take her home at tea

time for bed.

That's what we are doing for a wedding later this year.

I do believe it is the bride and groom's day and their wishes should be respected.