WALLANDER, BBC1, Sunday, 9pm

OH how fabby, darling – a new detective show starring the absolutely spifflingly divine Kenny Branagh. Who's clearly not been offered any Oscar-likely film scripts of late.

If you're wondering about the strange choice of name for this latest TV sleuth, apparently it's because the whole thing is set in Sweden.

And names in Sweden are pretty weird – a visit to Ikea will tell you that.

We should be thankful he's not called Fabian or Klang.

LOUIS THEROUX: LAW AND DISORDER IN PHILADELPHIA, BBC2, Sunday, 9pm

WE'VE already seen trailers of glaze-eyed posh boy Louis tottering up to some of the meanest dudes on the streets of Philadelphia and offering to shake paws.

Don't know about you but we find the combination of Louis and hard-nosed social documentaries a bit incongruous – like sending Michael Palin to chit-chat with the men on Death Row.

Go back to your tongue-in-cheek celeb stuff Louis – it's much more fun.

BEEHIVE, E4, Wednesday, 10.30pm

WE imagine, like its all-girl predecessor Smack The Pony, this could be a bit hit-and-miss. It's four female comics doing celeb send-ups.

If Madonna Morris dancing or a lampoon of the Sex and the City girls is your thing, give it a whirl.

I'M A CELEBRITY... GET ME OUT OF HERE, ITV1, Friday, 8.30pm

FAME (well, more of it) and fortune await the winner, announced tonight. Maybe. Or a series of Iceland ads at the very least.