Katherine Taylor: A week of extremes
GO on Nottingham, grrr, collectively beat your chests and revel in your mightiness! There's no challenge we can't give a good spanking.
Bring it on and let's take it to the max! Why? Because it's been a week of extremes.
First came the elements. Was it you I saw, hanging on by your sheer wits to the precipice of Derby Road? The weather showed us no mercy, it was ice cold in Arnold and the snows of Kimberley-manjaro all came to town.
Terms such as "snow storm", "whiteout" and "stranded" were bandied about in lesser parts of the country.
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I don't mind getting into a heated debate and say, in Nottingham, we simply prefer to call it "winter" and gerr'on wi'it.
Takes more than a bit of snow to slow us down. Minus three degrees? Ha! We just Arctic roll with it.
Well done, you've all shown true grit. Not least because Nottingham has got through 22,000 tonnes of the road-smoothing stuff and there's still 16,000 laid in for the next cold snap. We're ready for anything.
Need a top tip for keeping warm? You've come to the right place, my friends. Come in from the cold and relish Nottingham as one of the greatest hotspots.
We can all learn from the master: Ollie Byrne. He knows how to heat things up.
This week The Post reported on how the local student staved off the cold weather by wolfing down what's said to be the city's hottest chilli-packed curry.
His dish of choice? The chicken kholapuri, containing the behemoth of the chilli world: Naga chili.
Cue a hushed silence everyone, this thing should come with its own orchestra playing the Old Spice music upon the lid being lifted to reveal the meal.
Two hundred times hotter than a puny jalapeno, the naga will put fire in your bellies.
Stripping down to his vest, and just like in the fabled after-shave advert, Olly rode the crest of a wave: a heatwave.
I bet the morning after, he was wishing for a bit of wind chill after all that hot stuff.
I'm a nesh bogger, me, so I've taken heed of Olly's wisdom by planting and propagating chili seedlings this week.
Along with this advice that I freely pass on to you here: remember while chopping chillis, protect your hands. Well, we all need some gloves in a cold climate.
Want more super-sized Nottingham goodness? Then take a seat, relax, sit back and enjoy the show.
At Trent Bridge, in readiness for the Ashes, they've taken delivery of their shiny, new gigantic screen. The 17 x 8 metre monster is the biggest outdoor screen in Europe.
Weighing in at £1.8m, the county council has stumped up £900,000 of the cost. Good on them. It's enhancing the ground's reputation as a world-class venue.
I know it sounds pricey, but I assume it's going to stay in situ for a while. And not be used to broadcast daytime telly for the groundsmen? Well, that's all right then.
Got room for more? Then get down to Tesco. Their Easter eggs are selling for £1.50, but be quick, they're limited to "maximum 16 per customer".
Probably because chocolate is the one thing that seems to be getting smaller in size.