THE majestic seas. The mysterious deep. The rolling blue. The bit just beyond Skegness that you delude yourself into thinking is warm enough to swim in.

Yes, for centuries the briny depths of the ocean have been a source of wonder, and hypothermia, for many. It was with that in mind last week, and also because I was on deadline, that I put out the call to you, my noble readers, to wax poetical about the seas.

OK, so maybe "wax poetical" is a bit much. What I asked was for you to play the game where you take the name of a singer or a band, then replace part of their name with the name of a fish that sounds similar, so that Rod Stewart becomes Cod Stewart, Ike and Tina becomes Pike and Tina or (and as I pointed out last week, I came up with this one thankyouverymuch) Sam and Dave becomes, ahem, Salmon Dave.

This is a noble tradition, dating back to Edward IV's renaming Ye Merrie Troubadours of the Royal Court to Ye Merrie TUNAdours of the Royal Court (yes, of course it was rubbish – think you would have told the king that?). By the early 21st century the venerable tradition had nearly died out, but now social networking websites such as Facebook, along with humankind's unquenchable urge to waste time and unshakeable belief that anything's a bit funny if it includes a word like "pilchard", has revived it.

And revived it is. Gentle reader, by sending me your fish-musician names you have given me hope.

Well, not exactly hope. But you've definitely given me a lot of fish-musician names that I'm going to claim as my own the next time I'm at a party and the conversation gets awkward or political, so somebody suggests this.

So, whose rock-and-roll trawler came home with the biggest haul?

The winner is Roy Manterfield, who truly outdid himself. And when I say, "truly outdid himself", I mean "clearly lost his mind halfway through". Which is precisely the sort of effort we were looking for.

"This is a tall order for a punning challenge," he wrote, "but to start with I think you should extend your 'Pike and Tina' to 'Pike and Tuna Turner'. How many people suggested that?"

Only you, Roy, only you.

"Are we allowed to add food and water references too; Cliff Pilchard and the Shallows, Dianna Rudd and the Soup Tureens? I'm afraid it doesn't get any batter: Alice Grouper, Arctic Monkfish, Average Whitebait Band, Bob Marlin and the Whalers, Bream Day, Codplay, De Perch Mode, England Dab & John Dorey Coley, Fishbone Ash, Fleetwood Mackerel, Franki Valli and the Four Sturgeons, Grateful Dab, Judas Plaice, Mackereltalica note: not sure about that one, Roy, but I'll allow it, Manic Street Pilchards, My Mackerel Romance, Nine Inch Eels, Primal Bream, Procol Herring, Rage Against the Sea Bream, REO Speed Salmon, Snoop Dogfish, Steely Dab, Stevie Flounder, Stickleback and Talking Fish Heads."

A fine showing, made even better by the fact that I believe I have in fact raged against the sea bream on several occasions when I have ordered it.

Mostly, though, this wins by the sheer weight and volume of its madness. Which, as anyone knows who regularly reads this column, is something I value highly.

The runner-up is Trevor Buck, who came up with: Eelvis, Drum N Bass, Skate Perry, Sardine Klass and Whitebait.

"Helped out," he wrote, "by roadie Guitar Tuna, in his leatherjacket, pushing piranha into recording studio Mussel Shoals".

Trevor also came up with a list of "genuine fishy musicians," which included Catfish Keith, Oyster Band and local morris side Dolphin Morris.

Naturally, he gets extra points for working morris dancing into this.

And we'll give the final word to artist, legend and future Prime Minister Lord Biro, who wrote simply: "Dear sir, ''Piranharama'".