“Now then, seeing as though I just did caption writer dude's job for him, I do believe its time to discuss financial reparations.

By my calculations (and my calculations are thus: 3 seconds to look at the picture, 2 seconds to read the caption underneath, 1 second to realise the caption was grammatically challenged, a further 5 seconds to work out in my head what the correct grammatical usage was, approximately 120 seconds to write out the post and post it (delays caused by slowness of internet connection, which was'nt my fault) this adds up to a total amount of 131 seconds - in minutes this works out at approx 2 mins 11 secs - so......whatever you earn per hour, subtract 2 mins 11 secs worth of dosh from your salary) is what you now owe me.

You can make the required payments to: Charlie Bronson, The Basement, Wakefield High-Security Prison, Wakefield.

Now chop, chop, there's a good lad.

P.S You can make the equivalent payment in jelly babies if you so require. Just dont stint me on the conversion process, or we'll have a bit of a problem.”

“Note to the dude who writes the captions under the pictures on this site. Your grammar is awful, sir. I present you with this:

"A protester demonstrates about County Council cuts outside County Hall, West Bridgford"

I would like to propose that the proper grammatical usage should have been:

A protester demonstrates *AGAINST* County Council cuts outside County Hall, West Bridgford.

I may be unemployed, I may be mentally unstable, I may even have problems sleeping, but sir, I am significantly smarter than yaow.”

“Might I suggest Dave, that your idea of moving to the equator is actually economically unsound? Let me expand further.

You say I could stand to lose 0.4kg of weight by moving to the equator. By moving such a distance, this would expend energy, which in turn, would burn calories that would remove said weight. By the time you reach the equator, I'm willing to bet that you would have burned off a lot more than 0.4kg in doing so. You would therfor stand to lose a lot more than 0.4kg by going to the equator. You could get on a treadmill, run the said required distance, be 0,4kg better off and eat the required amount of bags of jelly babies that would replenish lost energy. Of course in doing so, you would gain body fat, and would then be required to mount the treadmill again, ad infitum. This may sound like a bind to some, but for those who are unwilling, or unable to leave their homes, it would be an affordable compromise.”

“I'm with I, Notts. In fact, I think we should start a new party. I'm not exactly sure what that party should be called, but our first mantra should be:

The ? Party - Tough on MP's, Tough on the causes of MP's.

Furthermore, we should follow that up with actually defining what a bus plug actually is, as there appears to be confusion on the matter.

Is it a bus shaped plug? Is it a plug that a bus plugs into? Is it something ON a bus that you can plug stuff into? Is it (and this one's a bit "out there") actually nothing to do with transport at all but a different kind of bus, like the kind of bus in a computer that data travels along? Or, as an earlier esteemed colleague mentioned, is it a sexual device that was so-called because of an innocent typo?

Vote ? Party. We're going places, and we dont like MP's.

We do like buses though.”

“To lose weight, move to the equator

Gravity is about 0.5% stronger at the North and South poles than at the equator - so, if you weigh 80kg (about 176 pounds) at the pole, you would lose 0.4kg (about 14 oz) by moving to the equator.”

“'John', surely you know how politics works?

"A spokesman for the DfT insisted that private letter to Coun Jackson was not meant as a threat to claw back the money."

In politics means that that is precisely how it was meant.”

“Cut the amount of MP's, cut the amount of expenses MP's can claim for, stop money being wasted on projects like the Millennium Dome...”

“And what part of the next sentence.

"A spokesman for the DfT insisted that private letter to Coun Jackson was not meant as a threat to claw back the money."

dont you understand?
You prove my point that you cant read.”

“I don't need to ask the DfT, Mad Badger. I can read and understand what they said, something that Mr Sensible finds a bit difficult.
So do you beleive in this mythical 7.5 million pay back too? Do you beleive the NEP are making the story up?
Where is your evidence to say the story is false, where are your sources?
Please feel free to take up the challenge I set Mr Sensible.”

“Once again

How will you pay the country's debts with more money going out that coming in?”